Letting Him Go
by Jaha Canon
Summary: Almost a year ago, they lost someone very important to them. But someone has yet to let go.


Let Him Go 

**By: Jaha Canon**

**Disclaimer: No ownership. Hate to disappoint.**

**This story was written in the day between the biggest job interview of my entire life so far and a really bad… time of the month. Needless to say I was feeling rather depressed and over emotional. I should add: kind of irrational. Sooo… here goes-**

**---------**

It happened too quickly. On the other hand, even if it took days and hours rather than just minutes, it still would have been too early. He was gone.

It had been almost a year after that fateful day that just another one of their battles to save the worlds cost them the life of one of their dear friends.

Taichi sat in the computer lab staring blankly at the digital world portal on the screen. He talked a little to Sora, who sat beside him. The younger Chosen Children should be coming back soon, if all went well.

As if on cue, there was a blinding light and six people came tumbling out of the monitor.

"So I trust all went well, then?" Taichi asked the pile of people on the floor.

Daisuke grinned, "Yeah! We showed him alright!"

"It was really all thanks to Miyako-chan," Hikari added, "if she didn't figure out how to beat him on the computer, then we'd be in big trouble now."

Taichi looked at the laptop that Miyako clutched. Everyone regarded it with a sense of reverence since that fateful day and it was difficult for everyone to think of using the laptop again. Every time they laid their eyes on it, they would always remember the person who used to always carry it around.

This applied to Taichi as well. Part of him wished that they just put the laptop away.

_Why, Koushirou? Why did you go?_

He silently cleared his throat.

It didn't really make sense just to put the laptop away. Throughout his several years studying the Digital World, Koushirou had a lot of information on that computer. However, Miyako, who was designated to be the person to try to make use of it, found herself at a loss suddenly without the guidance of the person who would help her with all of these things.

The group looked at Miyako, expecting her to reply to Hikari's comment. Instead she looked confused and distant.

"Miyako-san?" asked Iori cautiously.

"I don't know quite how that happened…" Miyako started slowly, "but when I needed the solution, the computer acted as if it were giving me hints to figure it out. It was like someone was trying to guide me."

Taichi's eyes widened and his old redheaded friend came to his mind immediately.

"Hey, I'm going to head home now." He announced as he began heading to the door.

Sora was concerned by Taichi's reaction. "I guess I'm leaving now, too. Bye everyone!"

------

Taichi was walking fast.

"Taichi!" Sora called after him.

"Ah, Sora." Taichi turned, feigning normality. "What's up? This way isn't your way home."

"It's not yours either, Taichi." Sora replied.

Taichi looked around, distractedly. "Oh." He snapped out of it. "Well, I'll see you around, Sora."

"Come on, Taichi, I've known you for years now. What's wrong?"

Taichi hesitated a little.

"He's out there somewhere." Taichi said.

"Who?" Sora asked, worried of the answer.

"Koushirou. He's out there somewhere."

"Because of what happened with the laptop today?" Sora asked.

Taichi nodded. "Koushirou is somewhere and he helped Miyako-chan and the others today."

Sora took Taichi's hands, "Taichi, he's gone. We all saw, remember? It's terrible and he all miss him so much, but you have to let him go."

Taichi shook his head stubbornly and pulled his hands away. "He's out there somewhere and I'm going to find him."

Sora watched as Taichi walked off to who knows where.

------

Taichi walked. He didn't know where he was going, but it was somewhere.

Then he ran. He still had no destination in mind, but his speed picked up.

Then there was a split second that Taichi could not remember to save his life.

And then, he was somewhere different.

"Where am I?" he asked himself out loud.

Suddenly he recognized the place as some kind of laboratory. He walked slowly, surrounded by technologies that could only exits on other worlds. Then he halted when he saw a form standing in front of a computer console. The form wore a hood. Pale hands stuck out from sleeves and rapidly stuck the keys.

Of course, recognizing a person like this is impossible, but there was something familiar about this that caused him to move forward. As he moved closer, he could see a little bit of red hair sticking out from the hood.

"Koushirou." He murmured. The form made no sign of having heard him.

"Hey, Koushirou. It's me, Taichi." He urged, standing next to the young man at the computer counsel. "Is this where you've been this whole time?"

It was clearly Koushirou now. But his eyes were glued to the screen in front of him.

"Koushirou, we've been mourning you for almost a year now and now you won't even look at me?" Taichi exclaimed. He grabbed the redhead by shoulders and spun him to face him.

"You shouldn't be here." Koushirou stated plainly. His eyes were completely emotionless.

"…What?" Taichi asked. Suddenly, as if Koushirou's words were a spell, he felt himself being pulled away.

Next thing Taichi knew, he was in the middle of the soccer field and it was nighttime. Confused, he stood up and began making his way home.

"Tadaima!" he announced as he came through the front door of the apartment. Hikari looked concerned from her place on the couch.

"Where were you?" she asked.

Taichi shook off the question and went straight to his room. He flopped onto his bunk.

'That face,' he thought, 'it was so empty. Koushirou was never a very emotional person, but that was… that was like how he looked when he…'

His thoughts trailed off before he could say the horrible last word. _DIED. _Taichi drifted off to sleep.

------

He slept in way too late. Good thing it was a holiday. He got up, got dressed, ate breakfast and left his apartment.

"Where are you going?" his mother asked as he was leaving.

Taichi shrugged slightly. He went where his legs took him.

He ended up going back to the soccer field.

-------

And then suddenly he was back where he was the previous day. He stood behind the form of Koushirou, who was typing away at the computer. He stormed up to the boy, "How can you just leave us like that and then ignore me like this? How could you, Koushirou?" He grabbed him by the shoulders again and began trying to shake him. The redhead seemed to look past him, unaffected. Taichi grew frustrated. "We missed you so much! Why, Koushirou? Why?"

He felt himself being pulled away, but by a hand his time, he turned.

"Gennai-san." He said as he recognized the man.

"Taichi-kun," Gennai spoke, "you should stop coming here."

"Coming here? I've been getting teleported here somehow." Taichi replied, confused.

"You're coming here on your own, because you're looking for Koushirou-kun." Gennai answered, "but you're not anywhere where you can find him."

Taichi pointed at the form that had already returned to work on the computer, "He's right over there! He just won't notice me."

Gennai spoke patiently, "Taichi-kun, tell me one example of how that boy you see right there isn't much different from a ghost."

Taichi stared at Gennai, baffled. "He's not a ghost, I touched him just now."

"He's gone, Taichi-kun. Koushirou-kun the human being that was your friend is gone."

Taichi stared baffled at the man speaking to him.

Gennai pointed to the Koushirou form. "Does he look different than he did on the day he died? It's been several months, hasn't it?"

Taichi thought for a while. Koushirou wasn't too quick when it came to growth spurts, to say the least, but it was true that he didn't look at all as if it had been a year.

"If he's still here 10 years from now," Gennai stated, "he'll still look exactly like that. He'll still stand that exact same way in front of that exact same monitor."

"…Why?"

"Because he's no longer human." Gennai explained calmly. "Taichi-kun, Koushirou-kun didn't want to die anymore than you wanted him to. He didn't decide that he could just come this quiet place to do his work in peace. It was -nothing- like that. He was, without any warning at all, torn away from everyone and everything that he loves. His life as a living, feeling human being who can enjoy time with his family and friends is over. Now all he has left is his obligation to finish his work on the digital world and to help you however he can. That form over there doesn't need to eat; it doesn't need to sleep; it just needs to finish Koushirou-kun's task."

"So…" Taichi said, slowly processing. "He's like a ghost with unfinished business?"

"That form over there isn't him. That's a body that was created by data for his mind to use to finish what he has to do. Your friend's essence, his spirit, if you will, is not here, but it's around. He's waiting for his work to finish. He hovers around you and his other friends wishing that he could be with you. He tries to help in this form by rearranging data, but it doesn't make him miss you all any less."

Taichi's eyes were watering; he swallowed loudly in an attempt to regain his voice.

"And," Gennai finished, "when you look for him and miss him so much it hurts him because he can't return to you. So please, if you care about him at all, you'll stop coming here."

Taichi looked at the tile ground.

"I understand."

He walked up to the form at the computer. He pulled the unresisting, not responding body into a hug. "Koushirou- wherever you are, I'm so sorry."

-----------

"I'm so sorry." He said again. He opened his eyes. He was sitting in the middle of the soccer field again and was curled into a ball, clutching his legs. He realized quickly that tears were running down his face.

"I'm so sorry, Koushirou, because I kept asking all of this time why you left when you never had anymore of a say in what would happen than I did. I'm sorry that I didn't realize that I would somehow be hurting you in thinking that way. Well, you know how I can be sometimes; I don't always realize how the things I say and do can hurt people. I know you know this first hand and I'm sorry for that, too.

Koushirou, wherever you are- Just so you know, when you finish your work on the digital world, go ahead and go where you need to. I- I'm going to start studying harder. I'm going to see if I can get a job someday protecting the gate to the Digital World. …Like an ambassador, or something, I don't know what to call it yet. I guess you can't help me figure out the right words for things anymore, so I have to find them myself. Either way, once you figure out the deal with the portals is, don't worry, I'll take care of everything, okay?

I'll be okay now, I promise. We miss you so much, it's true, but we'll all be okay."

He added "Thanks for everything" with a shuddering breath, stood and made his way home. He wiped the tears off of his face. It was time to move on. It was time to face the future. It was time to become someone who people can be proud to know. Just like Koushirou was always someone he was proud to know.

His teammates, both Chosen Children and in the soccer team, commented that they were impressed by his sudden zest for life. No one quite knew what happened.

But Taichi knew that Koushirou was somewhere. And it was okay with him that he couldn't chase him down or try to find him. Koushirou was doing what he had to do, as he has always done, and he'll be moved onto somewhere great in no time.

'Somewhere great.' Taichi thought to himself as he tried to refocus on exam prep books. He thought of the empty, soulless body he hugged on the day that he finally let his friend go and hoped that he'd remember to hug the real Koushirou if he ever sees him again. 'I hope I can meet him there someday. And I can tell him about all of this studying I did all by myself.' He laughed a little at this. 'But I'm not telling him that it's taking me forever.'


End file.
